at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Randomize
