her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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