The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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