Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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