i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
