I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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