Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
