i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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