Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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