You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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