Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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