its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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