I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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