Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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