...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
