We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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