some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
