that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
