You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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