Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
