Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
you will always have a special place in my vag
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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