I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I need to wash the frat house off of me
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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