Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
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The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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