I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
