He told me they were just razor bumps!
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
