Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.