she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
