I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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