I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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