the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
