I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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