He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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