I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Randomize
