I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize