You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
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