He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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