so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
