White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize