dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
