We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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