I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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