You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
