I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
