I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
