So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
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I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
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I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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