dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
