Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
