she was so not down for the gang bang
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
