we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
my poor anus
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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