well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
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