When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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