you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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