someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I need moral support for this bender
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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