Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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