it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
