This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
