I just saw a hot homeless man
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
