Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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