i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
