I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
