The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
